Day Seventeen- No Sleep Til Brooklyn

Dedicated to Kristin:

Here's another handy-dandy tip to all those without a job right now. Try, Try, TRY to keep a normal sleeping pattern. It only takes one late nap and you'll wind up keeping vampire hours. One afternoon after hot yoga, I took a nice cold shower and BAM..fell sleep at 6PM and woke up at 10PM. That was it. For the next week I was sleeping until 2PM and going to bed at 5AM.

It was during my bout with insomnia that discovered something rather disturbing about late night television. I realized that based on the ads running during the hours of 2-5AM, the majority of people watching TV at this time are probably underweight pedophiles or pervs. How did I come to this mind-blowing conclusion? Well, the entire week I was up, there were three commercials that ran on repeat. The ads either promoted superhuman strength or naked underage girls. Doesn't sound like a market for women, does it?

The first ad was for a contraption sold by that Body By Jake Guy (Wasn't he in Saved By The Bell: The College Years?) It was some weird bar that you put on your door for pull ups. Ingenious!

Then, of course, we had the "Girls Gone Wild" videos. A) It makes me ill that Joe Francis is a gazillionaire because of this and B) I really feel bad for those girls...it's just sad. Also, I love the intro line of, "Do you like breasts?" Who was the ad wizard that came up with that one?

Finally, we go back to another fitness regime that is like that P90X thing. Except this is called "The Insanity Workout." Everything was INSANE...you get insane abs, insane arms...you get the point. I decided that probably most of the people watching TV this early in the morning were insane. What next? Ads for "Used White Vans" or "Lime By the Pound."

To any of my friends in advertising: what is the key demo of TV viewers during 1-6AM? Is it puny men, interested in underage girls, looking to bulk up? Do any women watch TV at this time? Not a tampon ad in sight I tell ya!

I soon decided that I didn't want to be lumped in with this creepy demo and I needed to get back to real world time, STAT. So, I went to my parents this week, took a few Advil PM, and got back to a nice 12-10AM routine. Now I can wake up and see all the diet food and jewelery ads that I was meant to watch!

PS- Thanks Marissa for making me re-read The Secret.


Song of the Day: Mind Playin Tricks on Me, Geto Boyz, "I sit alone in my four-cornered room, staring at candles."