Day Eleven- (Don't Fear) the Reaper

You know how some Inuit Tribes send their elders out to sea on an iceberg to die? Well, I think those icebergs take a wrong turn at Albuquerque (you're welcome Bugs Bunny fans) and end up at the Boat Basin on the UWS. You "workers of the day" don't tend to see them. But walk around my neighborhood on a Friday around 1PM and you can't swing a dead cat without hitting an old person (note: can anyone tell me where that saying originated?)

Anywho, it's not a secret to my friends or family that I am not fond of the concept of getting old. It has nothing to do with vanity. I just don't want to end up like so many of the old people on my block: cranky, smelly, and not afraid to knock you down with their Jazzies in Fairway.

I apologize to my abundant over 80 demo, but most of ya'll that I see in the city are just rude and obnoxious...and I think you know it! Deep down, you know that since you are of a "certain age," no one is going to say anything to you.

Please to enjoy the following episode I witnessed today:

Open on LAURA walking down the street. An ELDERLY WOMAN, with no less than 5 plastic bags in her hand, stops a YOUNG MAN on the street. The young man is obviously challenged and is wearing the same headphones as the "frank and beans" brother in Something about Mary.

WOMAN: (hits the young man...rather hard) Hey, You! You annoyed me on the bus yesterday.
(beat)
WOMAN: You just wouldn't shut up!
MAN: (not realizing she is mad at him) Oh yeah, I like to sing.
WOMAN: Well, you sing like hell. You can't carry a tune.

Young man is a little confused and Laura feels the urge to intervene b/c she is cringing at this situation. The woman continues.

WOMAN: Yeah, I was thinking to myself. Does this kid think he's black? Because he isn't and can't sing.
MAN: I like to sing.

Laura decides to move on b/c obviously this is taking a dark turn.

BLACKOUT.

I mean seriously people. Did this old lady NOT realize this poor kid was mentally challenged? I was so angry, but if I said something she probably would have bit me with her dentures or pummelled me with moth balls. All I am saying is what gives old people the right to be mean and nasty? You shouldn't get special passes just because you put tennis balls on the bottom of your walkers (you NYC'ers know what I'm talkin about.)

You know why I think she was cranky? B/C she never put together a dream board and therefore lived a dull, unfulfilled life (reference my last post--read them all!!!!!!)


Song of the Day: You Never Know, Wilco, "Come on, children; you're acting like children. Every generation thinks it's the end of the world.