No Time

Remember that one post when I said unemployment gives you all the time in the world to do the things that you love. Well I should have added a caveat. There is potential of over-booking yourself and making so many commitments that it hinders that "fly by the seat of your pants" feeling you should get when you aren't working. For example, I made a big commitment to a charity that is not allowing me to go on a fabby trip with a friend due to an event I must attend. I feel like I am almost keeping too busy in order to compensate from being out of work. I need a vacation darn it. Also, I'm feeling sick today and TPIR is very disappointing (little old lady can't get the wheel to spin all the way around). Today is not a good day.

Ok, that was more of a rant rather than a post, so I'll re-tell a funny work story my friend told me. It's one of my favorites.

My friend had a super weird assistant who didn't do much and was very quiet. My friend, let's call her Bertha, because really, who in their 20s-30s is called Bertha, was going on maternity leave soon. Over her leave, their office was moving so she asked dumb assistant (DA) to move her things. When Bertha came back to her new cube, she noticed a few items were missing, but thought little of it. Bertha walked over to DA's cube and found her: missing calendar, note pads with a certain sports team on them, and a few pens that were clearly hers since she got them from her real estate agent. Bertha was very annoyed but didn't know what to do. I told her just to let it go...obviously this girl was weird or had some SWF thing going on.

A week passed and Bertha then noticed that DA walked in wearing a pair of shoes that looked a lot like a pair she owns. Looking under her cube, she realized that her pair of shoes was missing. Again, staying cool, Bertha looked in her home and closet, and came to the conclusion that DA took them! But how do you ask someone if they stole your shoes? Bertha asked DA, "Um, look DA, I noticed the shoes you were wearing look a lot like mine. By any chance did you accidentally take my shoes?" DA said no, and then walked away.

What I love about this story is a) how can anyone accidentally steal shoes? I mean, you know your own shoes, no? I just think that was a funny question she had to ask, and b) the nerve of DA to wear the shoes to work. That klepto had some balls to bring back the stolen goods to the scene of the crime! The worst part is...how could Bertha prove it? It's not like Nine West doesn't make a zillion pairs of the same shoe. But at the same time, Bertha knew that DA stole her shoes. She was pissed...as I would be. Needless to say, DA got pregnant, left the company and is still walking around in Bertha's shoes.

And some of you thought YOU had annoying assistants.

Song of the Day: Irreplaceable, Beyonce, "In the closet, that's my stuff. Yes, if I bought it, then please don't touch (don't touch)."