The Party's Over

Well, it's been a great 3 months of sleeping in, traveling and actually enjoying New York during the day, but unfortunately, like all things, it has come to an end. You see, I got a job yesterday. Not only did I get a job, but I start Monday. Odd enough, my immediate reaction was, "Monday...that's too soon! I still haven't finished all my House episodes on DVR. What about my private yoga lessons? I didn't get to the MOMA exhibit where you just sit and stare at the crazy lady!" For you see, in NYC, there is always something to do. I guess now I have to learn to do them now before 9AM or after 7PM.

I remember when I was freaking out a bit over being unemployed, my darling friend Peter told me that once I get a job, I will miss these days, so don't fret. And you know what? I will..and I won't. I'm not gonna lie to you guys. Once I got back from California, I was getting pretty bored. I hated that the lady in the coffee shop knew what I wanted before I said it. I was starting to recognize the dog walkers on my street... as well as the actual dogs! I kinda felt like an old lady.

Don't get me wrong; being unemployed was the shit. I traveled, did anything I wanted, sleep a LOT..but in typical Laura fashion, I get bored pretty easily and I guess even my favorite things started to get tiresome. Except for sleep. Sleep will never ever get boring. I love sleep. "Well, if you love sleep so much then why don't you marry it?" you may ask. Well, I would say "I Do" to sleep in a second. If a man in Germany can marry his cat and a guy in Japan can marry a pillow, why can't I marry the concept of sleep? But I digress.

I guess I have two pieces of advice: one for the newly unemployed and one for the employed.

To the Unemployed: If you get laid off, please PLEASE do not fret. I am sure that whatever you were doing wasn't right for you. If it was, you can get a job in that same field no problem. If it wasn't, then take some time off and find out what is right for you. Enjoy your freedom. It's like a summer vacation that adults never get (except for teachers...darn lucky teachers). You WILL get a job. Think positively and great things will happen to you. Just don't quit. Quitting is lame and is for losers. Even if you are out of work for a year...keep on plugging away. And if you still don't have a job, well then maybe you kinda suck at what you're doing and should consider a trade or work at a CVS pharmacy.

To the Employed: SAVE YOUR MONEY DAMMITT. Save it! Part of what made my being unemployed so fun was that I saved enough money so I didn't have to worry about rent or utilities..only the fun stuff. Get at least 10K under your belt. Then if you get laid off, it is a LOT less stressful and you can really focus on getting your career back on track. Or if you hate your job, you can just go into your boss's office, throw up the middle finger and quit!

So, what will become of this blog? I hope that maybe someone out there will take over and maybe tell their story of unemployment (ahem, you know who you are). Maybe I'll start a new blog. Either way, I am sure there are many other stories to be told, albeit, probably not as funny as mine.

In conclusion, unemployment was a lot of fun. And it still IS so hot right not. My friend saw someone wearing a shirt that read, "Unemployment is the new black." So if you are unemployed, you aren't alone. Don't get all depressed. Buck up! When one door closes another opens...all that mumbo jumbo. Just enjoy life.

Bye for now! Look out for my new blog "Help I got a new job and wish I were unemployed again!"

xoxo
Laura

Song of the Day: Be Faithful, Fatman Scoop, "You gotta hundred dollar bill put ya hands up! You gotta fifty dollar bill put ya hands up!
You gotta twenty dollar bill put ya hands up! You gotta ten dollar bill put ya hands up!"

California Dreaming

Wow, I can't get over the most amazing time I had in LA. I met so many people, and experienced so many karmic coincidences that I think I may actually move there soon. What is even crazier is that I am writing this at 33,000 ft. I LOVE Virgin America. Wifi on planes?? How cool.

I want to blog about each day separately, but I did want to say that Brandon Fraiser is on my plane and I think that is cool because I liked Encino Man. More posts to come...including: Run in with old friends, party with the Hilton sister, a private tour of the Desperate Housewives set, and a day trip to Malibu. I don't think it gets better than that!

Song of the Day: Going Back to Cali, Biggie. "If I got to chose a coast, I got to chose the east, I live out there, so don't go there."

California

here we come.....Ok, I hope you you have "The OC" theme song in your head because I have had it in my head for 2 days now...

So first day. I went to the LA comedy film festival and had a great time. Then my friend took me to Sunset for a great lunch and then we went to THE Coffee Bean on Fairfax and Sunset where are the aspiring writers hang out. The coffee there is so good. We need them here in NY, along with In N Out of course.

Good story about me at the festival. I attended a panel in the morning with a bunch of comedians/writers. Most of the cast of Reno 911, some dude who created Malcolm in the Middle, the producer of Everyone Hates Chris and Laura Kightlinger (LK)--a comedienne I remember watching when I was younger on MTV. It was fantastic and they gave a lot of great insight about the process of getting your writing out there.

So, after the panel, the panelists were hanging around with fan stalking them. I was just waiting to go back into the theatre to watch the comedy clips. I was near LK and a girl next to me looks at me, then my name badge and said, "Laura Carlucci? Oh yeah, Laura was looking for you" and she shoves me towards her. Huh? Me? I didn't ask any mind blowing questions? Did she just see me and think how cute I was and assumed I had to be as funny? So confused!! She introduces herself to me and said, "Hi Laura, can you wait here for a second?" I was definitely not sure what was going on. Then she starts talking to Tom Lennon from Reno 911 and I am just standing next to her like why am I here right now? Did I win a studio audience prize? I'm nodding as if I am part of the conversation, you know, like obviously I am supposed to be there. Finally she is done and is turns to me and says, "Ok, let's go." I couldn't pretend any longer. I told her I had no idea what she meant. She looked confused and said, "Oh, I thought you were my driver. I was told a young blonde girl was going to pick me up." What???? What about me screamed driver to her? I was both offended and flattered at the same time (She did call me young after all). So with that, I told her that not only am I not her driver, but I can barely drive. And with that, she just walked off. Leaving me there with people looking at me weird. I guess that is LA for you.

Song of the Day: Drive, Cars, "Who's gonna drive you home tonight?"

Hotel California

Before I go into my first full day of LA, I need to get something off my chest.

I would like to offically go on record that I am over the dada-esque hotel craze that Ian Schrager made so hot in the 90s. I'm staying at the Standard (Downtown, NOT on Sunset) and I'm just not into the bizarre factor anymore. For example, this was in a random corner in the side lobby:



Seriously. Why? Then I go into my room which has a horrendous grey and yellow theme--total ick. I'm getting serious anxiety from this color scheme. The bathroom is all glass so if you were staying with someone, they would see you do all your bathroom business. And speaking of bathroom business, this sticker was on the toilet paper:



Really??? That is just gross and stupid and unnecessary. Keeping with the theme of tasteless,the mini bar offers condoms with real graphic positions on the cover of the box (La Tour Eiffel? Mon Dieu!) Where am I Tokyo? Give me a bathroom with walls, non-offensive toilet paper stickers, and a plain box of Trojans any day. The bed is super cozy though and the rooftop is cool...so it's got that going for it.

Ok, next post will be summary of my lovely first day here. I'll end per us (yeah, I abbreviate usual now) with the song of the day, one that I feel should be playing in this lobby 24/7 to capture the true vibe here.

Song of the Day: Revolution 9, The Beatles, "Number 9, number 9, number 9....."

Grey in L.A.

Well, it's not really grey, but it IS super smoggy. So this is the week. The week I traipse around LA and think about if I really want to move out here. However, before I even landed this afternoon, I am afraid I am already leaning towards no. Why? Because I hate to fly.

I have been on a plane probably over 100 times in my life and I still get nervous. I hate it. It's something I can't shake. So usually the night before I am a ball of nerves and can't get any sleep and then am all paranoid on the flight. I hate it.

So here is my funny story of the day. I barely got ANY sleep last night so I was particularly cranky and panic attack-y. I flew Virgin which I can not rave about more. It is amazing. You just order food on a screen and people come to you...no annoying carts! Plus you can watch movies, TV, listen to music etc. I really like it. But that's not my point. Let's get back to the "listening to music part."

Around Denver we started getting a lot of turbulence so I decided to watch episodes of Curb to calm my nerves and watch someone who is more neurotic than I am. So here I am listening via my Ipod headphones but I can hear this music and it is driving me nuts. I realized that it was probably coming from the guy in front of me who had on ginormous earphones. I was annoyed. Why are you listening to your music so loud that I can hear it from behind you. However, it was really light, and I noticed it was JT, and hey I like James Taylor. I tried to watch TV amid the bumps, getting more and more sure that the plane is going to drop 10,000 ft, and this guy's music is getting louder. I try leaning in to try and hear how loud his friggin headphones can be! Then I hear Elton John--hey I like that song too.

I am getting more and more annoyed with this guy. Next I hear Phish...what the heck is his guy listening too? Let me qualify my next move by telling you that when I fly I get really nervous and jumpy and have little tolerance for anything. I finally tapped the guy on the shoulder and asked him in my most Laura passive aggressive nice way to please turn down his music because I can hear it all the way in my seat. Mind you I was being a little cranky, but this guy looked at me so evil and said, "I don't know what the hell you're talking about...I'm watching CNN." I got a smackdown...but was still confused. Where the hell is this music coming from? And it's getting loud!

Then I hear this obscure song that I have on my Ipod. Hmmm, that's odd. I lean by my purse. The music is now disco-level. Yep, it was coming from my Ipod. No one ever told me that the new Ipod has a speaker so you can hear music even without the earphones on!!!! Every time I kicked under my seat in annoyance, the volume was going up!I was mortified. Luckily the person next to me was asleep and didn't catch my horrible mistake. And no, I didn't apologize to the guy.

So now I am at my hotel and want to sleep but am dying to go out and see what LA has to offer. More updates to come.

Song of the Day: Married with Children, Oasis, "Your music's shite it keeps me up all night, up all night."

You're My Inspiration

Wow...what a fun, Tina Fey-filled week. The premiere of Date Night was super fun, only to be topped off with a visit to Regis and Kelly (thanks to my friend Monica) to once again see Tina Fey. Ok, let's get the obvious questions out of the way. Regis and Kelly are super nice: they go out into the audience during the breaks and seem happy to talk to the audience. I talked to Reg, since I saw him at the premiere the night before (well, I did from afar) so we bonded over the film. Kelly IS thin, but really looks good and healthy. Tina was funny of course and the other guests were Andie McDowell (sp?) and a special appearance by Michael J. Fox which was awesome since I loved him since Family Ties.

All in all it was fun, but I wasn't star struck at the premiere, although Hugh Jackman is super hot in person. Is it because I'm a New Yorker? Is it because I have worked at celebrity event before? Who knows, but I am, super lucky to be able to experience all the things I have. But being blase about seeing stars isn't funny...so let me tell you my embarrassing story about meeting my number one idol, Judd Apatow.

I believe it was the summer of 2008. Knocked Up was hit,and I officially fell in love with Judd Apatow's writing. Although I think 40YOV was a funnier movie, I just really loved how he wrote this film. I thing the friends in the movie reminded me of my friends and how we relate to things. The dialogue, scripted or improvised, felt like something I wrote. I loved the music he chose. I literally watched the DVD over 50 times, mostly watching it with the commentary on to get a better feel for his process (note: basically the commentary is just full of stories and jokes). I feel like if he met me, he would think I'm cool, you know?

So....this was just before SuperBad and he wasn't uber famous yet, and I read that he was being honored at the Nantucket Film Festival. I had never heard of it before, but having been to Nantucket, just a 40 min Jet Blue flight away, I knew I had to go and meet him. It was a bold move. My friend backed out at the last minute, so I wound up going solo. Ironically enough, I flew up with the founder of the festival and we became fast friends and he introduced me to a lot of people. That was worth it if anything.

But then the time came to meet Judd. There was a very nice ceremony on Jetty's Beach, hosted by Brian Williams, who is not only smoking hot, but as funny as any of the comedians on the room...he's a catch. Again, Judd was popular, but I don't think he was familiar to the "Nantucket Crowd." He wasn't being hounded, so I saw my chance to bombard him! I think I literally knocked down Meg Ryan and Jerry Stiller to get to him. I finally approached him and what happened??? I had the Ralphie visiting Santa Claus moment. I wanted to tell him all about my Red Ryder BB Gun, but all that come out of my mouth was that I wanted a football! Actually I think what I said was "I watched your DVD (wasn't specific) and learned a lot from the director's cut. I want to become a writer because of you." WHAT? What the hell did that mean? As I wanted to clarify, he was being pulled on stage but he was nice enough to wish me good luck. I wanted to grab his leg and tell him how great he is, but nope, I missed my chance...or did I?

You see, after the ceremony, the honoree stuck around. Aha! I thought. A chance for redemption. However, fate was not on my side that night. As I walked up to him once again, I could see him thinking...ok here comes crazy lady. My friend who is from Nantucket was there and urged me to ask him for a pic. I asked him and he was gracious enough to pose with me and my friend. His little girl was there and didn't want to be in the picture, but decided to take the picture instead. If Tyra has taught me anything, it is that getting shot from the ground up is NOT a flattering angle. Also, it was hot as balls in the tent, and I was sweating like a whore in church (I love that saying). The picture that came to be, could be the worst photo of me of all time. I think of the scene in 16 Candles when Ted asks his friends to take a pic of the hot girl in the Rolls and all they got was his eye. I wanted this perfect moment to be realized in a perfect picture and instead I got this:




Horrible, I know! I mean, worst. picture. ever. I have crazy eyes! I have 4 chins! I am beyond shiny. I kid you not, his daughter told me I looked funny after she took the photo. I was too excited to even look before he left, assuming it couldn't be that bad. God I wish I asked for a re-do. I hate this pic and love it at the same time, because I remember how excited and happy I was to meet him and how nice and low key he was. It was a great event and I went last year and plan on going this year, but that night was super special. If only I had a good picture to prove it. Hopefully one day I will meet him again and I can redeem myself!

PS- I will bet you all 10 dollars that my mom gets mad I posted this picture because I look so horrible!!

Song of the Day: One More Chance, The Notorious B.I.G., " Fuck the past, let's dwell on the 500 SL."

Wow--never realized how dirty these lyrics are...that was the tamest line in the song!

Good Times

Wow...unemployment has yet to disappoint. Just got back from an amazing ski trip and am now in the big apple prepping to go to the "Date Night" premiere with my cousin. I can even camp out on line early b/c I ain't got no job. I am going to call my friendager, Lana, to see how I should handle stalking Tina Fey...in a good way, not like a John Hinckley way.

AND......I fulfilled one of the promises I made on this blog. Well two actually. First up, my friend got me tickets for Regis and Kelly tomorrow. Ironically enough, Tina Fey is the guest. Seriously, this wasn't planned. God, now I do sound like a stalker. So...everyone pray to the gift fairy that they are giving out free goodies at the show tomorrow.

THEN, I booked my first trip to LA to scope out the scene. Everyone has been more than helpful in helping me set up meetings with people they know out there. I'm even going to have a nice HS/College/Bschool reunion with some old friends. Still in the early planning stages, but I really hope to come back with a better idea if I am ready to be governed by Arnold Schwarzenegger and willing to gain 10 lbs from all the In and Out I will be consuming. Plus in the most bizarre twist of fates, my dad is actually encouraging me to go out there and look for work. Mom...not so much.

So, good things are happening and I will write tomorrow about my experiences. Also, look for me on Regis and Kelly tomorrow...I'll try to yell out something really obscure, like "Take it off Gelman" or "Grand Rapids Represent." Something to that effect. Or just listen for my really loud obnoxious laugh.

Song of the Day: I'm So Excited, The Pointer Sisters, "Tonight's the night we're gonna make it happen."